Sunday, May 17, 2015

Stress, yarn and Knitting

I was hoping knitting would alleviate my stress a bit.  It has a little, but I wish it could do more.

Last Friday my husband was giving a speech during WAPL (Wisconsin Association of Public Libraries) conference and after he felt short of breath.  After much convincing, he went to the ER in Wisconsin Rapids (or home in 12 days).  There they diagnosed him with pneumonia and very high blood pressure, and checked his triponin, which is a heart enzyme that determines the likelihood of a heart attack.  It was elevated; they said it could be because of the sever pneumonia (he was just fine the day before!), but they admitted him to critical care and monitored the level. 

So I was in Wisconsin Rapids with the kids, and my parents went home.  I got the call at 9:30 that his triponin level had gone up, there was no cardiologist in WR, so they were transferring him to St. Clare's in Weston (an hour away).  First they had to find a hospital that wasn't full and would accept him.  Then, when St. Clare's did accept him, we had to wait an hour for an ambulance to come down from Weston to come get him.  I kind of did a little bit of "losing my shit", and asked the nurse how hospitals "just get full".  She said, "Lots of people had the flu" and my response was, "What, like The Stand??" 

I really thought early Saturday morning I was going to get a phone call that he was dying.

So Brian ended up in Weston.  After an echocardiogram, and a heart catheter, they found 20-30% blockage in his heart, but mostly it was about lowering his blood pressure (which at one point was 202/111) and treating his pneumonia.  He was discharged last Sunday, back in the ER up here in Appleton last Monday (his bp was 192/126) and after seeing a PA on Wednesday, his bp is up and down but not as dangerous (knock on wood...) as it was. He sees a cardiologist next week and a general practitioner the week after.

My oldest daughter's wonderful teacher brought us a homemade vegetable lasagna, which was delicious.  I had so many friends reach out to me and let me know they cared--it's very humbling.

So that is crisis time.  I've been working on the second roundabout sock, and it's coming along nicely:


I also went to a rummage sale in Manitowoc yesterday where a local fiber vender, Lucky Rose Fibers, was selling yarn and fiber.  I resisted the fiber (I so need to work on my spinning skills), but BritneyLe's yarn was half off, so I indulged and spent Mother's Day money from my mom and my "big fat rebate check" from Ebates on yarn.


 I can't wait to get knitting with it!

My other news is that I am officially unemployed.  I am going to be packing and sorting for the next 2 weeks.  I am so very sad to leave my job--I loved my job and my coworkers.  But I need to leave eventually, so I left while I had time to pack.  Very bittersweet.

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Ever feel like it doesn't matter?

So I've always celebrated holidays (no matter how obscure) with special meals in our house, ever since the kids were little.  The two biggest are Mardi Gras and Cinco de Mayo, but I make sure there is red, white and blue treats for July 4th, special pumpkin bars for Halloween, whatever.  I've always done it.  I guess maybe because I would have loved to have had a mom that did stuff like that.

I did this long before Pinterest, mind you.  Pinterest makes it easier. And makes me feel more inadequate.

So tonight was Cinco de Mayo.  So I made carnitas.  I forgot to get the stuff for dessert empanadas, so I skipped those.  I made guacamole.  I HATE guacamole.  But I made it.  And got salsa and chips.  And made sure to pay extra for just the margarita mix so my kids could have fake margaritas.

Not one thank you.  Not one acknowledgement.  My oldest daughter actually left for a walk with her friend, even though I was going to make her special meatless tacos (they ended up coming home and eating all the guacamole.  Which is fine.  I HATE guacamole!)

So I kind of wonder if I quit doing it, would I get over the guilt?  Would my kids forget that I ever did it?  Is it easier to just not do it than do it and have them not notice?  Would they notice?

No more Mardi Gras King's cake and hurricanes jambalaya.  No more special Mexican dinners for Cinco de Mayo.  No more red, white and blue parfaits for 4th of July. 

I don't do it for the praise.  I like to do it.  But I still would like for my kids to notice.  Stupid, I know.

Saturday, May 2, 2015

A Quick Night at the Ball Game

The Timber Rattlers announced that Scooter Gennett (former Rattler, now a Brewer) was rehabbing with them this weekend, and Friday was "Webkinz Cow Night" so we decided to go to the T-Rats game.

Timber Rattlers games are pretty inexpensive, especially compared to MLB games (I think Anna went to a Brewers game when she was little.  Even the cheap seats at Brewers games are expensive).  We decided to take the grass seat option-something we've never done-as the tickets were $6 instead of $12 for seats where we usually sit (the kind with backs and a cup holder).  I ordered them online--Anna didn't want to go, so it was 4 tickets@$6=$24.  Great.  Until you tack on a $7 convenience fee just for the privilege of ordering a ticket online.  And $5 to park.  So we were essentially paying for 6 tickets for 4 people.

Whatever.  It was still not a bad price for a night out.

So we get to the ballpark, and it's not nearly as busy as usual.  Mind you, we always go on Star Wars night and sometimes go on Storybook Princess night.  It was just Webkinz cow night, so we were ok.  The stands were mostly empty.

We opted to sit in the grass seats by the Kidszone, because Emily wanted to play.  This is when we found out that the Kidszone is actually $5.  WTF?  To jump in the bounce house and go down the inflatable slide.  *sigh*  Then the grass seats started to fill in.

I'm not one to put on airs.  I have my white trash roots, and I am always a pay check away from white trash (or homelessness in some cases).  On any given day I am white trash.  But what a motley crue in the grass seats!

There was every kid in the ballpark running around, pushing and shoving, flying down the hill at 80 miles an hour toward the cement barrier with parents sitting on blankets ignoring the shit out of them while they drank their Jack Daniels Lynchburg Lemonades.  In addition to every kid in the ballpark, we came on "The local Junior High choir sings the national anthem" night, so even though they had seats (with backs I'm assuming) they all invited their friends and were hanging in the cheapseats, mostly standing and talking to each other and taking selfies.  In front of us was a preteen who spent the entire time we were there taking pictures of herself on her phone with the field in the background.  Combine that with the people who were just there to pound beers, and it was the dirt mall of the ballpark.

I did get to take this nice picture though:
We made it through the first inning and it was time to go.  We hit the "spin the wheel" game on the way out, and Emily won 2 free happy meals, so hurray!  Kids, you're eatin' tonight!

I'm not a snob about most things.  I drive old cars, live in old houses, shop at the Goodwill (not because it's trendy; because it's cheap).  But I won't sit in the grass seats again.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

And another one bites the dust

So in the same bin I found the half finished socks, I found a pair of half finished mittens from probably last fall. Fortunately this one had the pattern with it, so I didn't have to figure it out. So I decided to finish them up.

Here's what they looked like when I found them.

I know the yarn is Lamb's Pride bulky.  Oh how I love the twist of Lamb's pride!  It is my favorite wool to knit with, just for the beautiful twist:

So since I am home with water running out of my butt (I knew you would like a visual) I finished up these mittens.  They are supposed to be felted, but they fit Emily pretty perfectly now so I might just keep them this way.  Still nice, warm mittens.
I had 2 bags with yarn and/or projects in them in the bedroom, but they have mysteriously disappeared to the new house, I am guessing.  Along with my spinning wheel, which had better make it there in one piece.

And my yellow tulips opened:
And here is an even prettier picture of my orange tulips:
So I think I'm going to finish the kitchener on my roundabout socks, then see if I can find the rest of the yarn for those.  Or start a new pair, if I can find my ball maker.  I think it might still be upstairs, unless it's not.  *sigh*

Sunday, April 26, 2015

Finished Objects from long ago

So I wanted to knit something, but I still have that problem where some yarn is here and some yarn is there...and I'm just uninspired.  So I had a basket of projects and such in my bedroom, and in it was some worsted weight socks.  One was done, and the other was halfway through the heel.  So I looked at it for about a day and thought, "What the hell?"

You can see where it's been sitting on the needles awhile by the crease in the heel.  I didn't have the pattern in with them (I usually do, so I wonder what happened to it?).  It's either this pattern or very similar (I thought it was called "sock hop" something, but I didn't find anything like that).  So I winged it and finished the socks in less than a day.
I gave them to Anna, and she loves them!  I seriously think they have been sitting since before or shortly after Emily was born.  Seriously.  So it was nice to finish them and nice to have something to do.

I also have some pretty flower pictures.  Hyacinths and orange tulips.  I need to remember to mark where they are in my garden so I can take them with me.


 Not much was done this weekend.  Anna and Emily were going to sleep at my mom's house until Anna decided to be a puker (I thought we were over this...) so she's been vegging on the couch for 2 days.  I played some games and managed to vacuum.  And Bob Pleco (or plecostomus) has decided to eat the algae off the glass of the turtle tank finally, so I guess it was a good weekend.

Friday, April 24, 2015

Moving is Hard

So, hubby got a new job and we're moving about an hour and a half away from where we are now.  I'm happy he got a new job (something he doesn't believe).  He just doesn't seem to understand the whole "I'm going to miss my house" thing, and equates that with "You are questioning the entire process".   No, I'm going to miss my house.

I love our little house.  It's the perfect size for us.  We have a spare bedroom, a finished basement AND a sewing room AND a cedar closet.  It really was (and is) my dream home.

The house we found to rent I am glad we are just renting.  I am getting the house in filthy condition (new landlord=not quite understanding why it's not ok to charge me $600 for my cats, but give me a disgusting carpet with carpet beetles).  It's an old farmhouse, but the only place to put my sewing machine is in a dark cubby upstairs.

The plus is that there are 10 miles of walking trails behind the house, with a little creek that runs through it.  Needless to say, my Anna is in love.




Speaking of Anna, she was recognized as a youth volunteer.  She's put in over 600 hours at Heckrodt, and I am very proud of her.
I have been knitting a little bit, thinking about it mostly.  I'm working on a scarf for a friend.  I also made this little shawlette:
One of the hardest things is finding all of my yarn.  Half of it is at the new house and half is at the old house, and I feel like it's just so much work to put anything together.  To the point where I am nearly done with a sock and it seems like too much work to find a yarn needle to get it off the needles.

But everything seems like so much work.  I'm very down lately, worrying about getting a job, not even wanting to bother with school.  I just don't seem to care that there's a semi coming at me in my lane.




Sunday, December 28, 2014

Christmas Projects 1 of 4

So the latch hook is finished (well except for the finishing!) Woohoo!

Nick's hat is at the decreases, baby sweater is a third done and Emily's Barbie clothes are woefully behind. But I'm working on it.